All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
