if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
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If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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