Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
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Just put me in your contacts as coyote
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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