I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
i've created a new STD.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
