Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
