She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
