What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
