yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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