Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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