She announced her abortion via fbk
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
