I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
