I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
