I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
