I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
