So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
