i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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