where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I just shit out all my problems.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
