Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Still dying that you shit outside
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
