so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize