Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
