He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
