So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
