I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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