Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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