Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
