I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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