Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
