Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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