Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
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