Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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