why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
