yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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