I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
