I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dicks are not precious.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
