I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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