Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
