I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
He has the fingertips of a God
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize