Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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