At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize