I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
