IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
