I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
