Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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