What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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