Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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