I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I'm at about main and main street
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
