i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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