My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
