He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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