I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
