Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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