Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
