That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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