she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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