If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
