making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
