I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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