Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
