apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
she smelled like a LAN party
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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