Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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