I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
