So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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