Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
