Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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