are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
