I'm really into asian looking animals
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
