I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
