oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
