your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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